Wilmington, NC Real Estate Blog

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Another Refrigerator Joke

 Three guys die and go to heaven.

St. Peter says "Listen - we're having a really busy century, so we need to manage admissions tightly. Right now we can only admit people who have died in horrible fashions, and those who have died in a more mundane way will have to wait in limbo, and it could take a decade or two to work you in."

So St. Peter takes aside the first man, and asks him how he died.

"Well, I'd been suspicious of my wife having an affair for some time now, so today I came home from work early. I just knew the guy was in my apartment, but I couldn't find him. I looked everywhere and was just about to give up, when I went out on the balcony of my 23rd story apartment and there he was hanging over the edge! He was just barely hanging on, there was no way he could climb back onto the balcony. It was a really stupid place to try to hide. I was livid, so I started punching him and clawing at his fingers, but he held on. Finally I went to get a hammer and started pounding on his fingers, and he fell down. But what really angered me was that he landed in some bushes and fell to the ground dazed, but basically OK! I was so mad I grabbed the refrigerator, threw it off the balcony and it landed on him. Unfortunately I was so riled up by the incident I had a heart attack and died."

St. Peter was taken aback, and said "While you did die in a dramatic fashion, I think we need to look at that whole second degree murder before we let you in - off to limbo with you." He then approached the second man and asked him how he had died.

"I was riding my exercise bike on the balcony of my 24th story apartment, when the thing broke and threw me over the railing! I grabbed furiously at the railing and slipped, but managed to catch on the balcony below mine. I tried to climb up but it just wasn't possible. I thought I was going to fall but then someone came out on the balcony. I thought he would help me, until he started hitting me! I held on as best I could, but when he got a hammer and started hitting me I finally couldn't hold on anymore and fell. Somehow, though, I fell in some bushes and fell to the ground dazed, but basically OK! Just as I'm coming around, I look up and BAM this refrigerator lands on me. So here I am."

St. Peter immediately admitted this second man to heaven, and pulled aside the third man and asked him for his story.

"Picture this: I'm hiding naked in a refrigerator..."    author unknown

Dick Beals

9 comments • Dick & Sandy Beals • December 10 2007 08:17AM

Featured Beef Stew....Two Years in the Making

 You will love this stew!  You start in late October gathering the best of the
merlot grapes from the south or the side that faces the sun in the morning, the
soil must be at a.....

Or you could go to Grape Stompers and order one of their kits.  The kit comes
complete with everything you need to make your own premium wine, including
labels with your name, so the wine used in this recipe is "Beals Estates" 2004,
Merlot which for you wine aficionados was a very good year and only 36 bottles of
"Beals Estates" Merlot were produced.... it is a very rare wine indeed.  Now on to the
stew.....

After the wine has aged for about 2 years pull out a bottle for the main
ingredient of your stew, you will be tempted to have a glass, so go ahead enjoy
some, however make sure you replace the exact amount as this recipe calls for
one (1) 750 ml bottle of premium "Beals Estate" (or whatever you name your wine) 
you could order a bottle from me at only $99.95 plus tax outside of NC (I did
mention it was rare and only 36 bottles were made...hence the cost) Now on to
the stew, again....

Ingredients:

2 1/2 pounds of good quality stew beef (lean) cut into cubes.                                                                         
the aforementioned "Beals Estate" Merlot                                                                                                        
2 cloves of garlic                                                                                                                                      
3 bay leaves                                                                                                                                           
2 cups of flour                                                                                                                                         
sea salt, pepper, good olive oil, to taste                                                                                                     
a couple of large onions, cut into chuncks                                                                                                               
a pound of cut carrots                                                                                                                               
a pound of small red potatoes, washed but not peeled                                                                               
1/2 pound of mushrooms                                                                                                                               
about 16 oz. of chicken stock                                                                                                               
Good sized branch of rosemary                                                                                                                 
2 tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce                                                                                                        
a large package of frozen peas with onions                                                                                                 
1/2 cup of sun-dried tomatoes

OK now take the cubed meat and place it in a bowl with the "Beals Estate", 2004
garlic, and the bay leaves, and marinate it overnight...don't drink any of the
wine.....open another bottle and drink some.  TIP....when cooking with wine beer
or alcohol take care on your measurements, and DO-NOT ever use any booze wine or
beer that you would not drink yourself!  I have heard that some cooks use
inferior cheap wine for cooking....don't do this, your food will
taste like cheap wine....use the good stuff like "Beals Estate"2004.

OK now on to the cooking part....don't drink wine during this
segment.....Combine the flour, salt, pepper, and the garlic and start to dredge
the meat in the flour mixture. Save the marinade!!  In a large pan or skillet
brown the meat in a couple tablespoons of good olive oil for about 7 minutes or
so until the meat looks nice and brown.  Place all the meat in a large stew pot. 
Now add the wine to the skillet along with some garlic, and some onions on high
heat to deglase the pan, making sure all the meat bits are incorporated in the
wine sauce.  Place all that in the large stew pot along with all the remaining
ingredients except for the frozen peas and onions. Add the chicken stock,
rosemary, sun-dried tomatoes, salt and pepper to taste, and bring all that to
simmer.

Cover the pot and place in the oven for a couple of hours at about 250 degrees. 
Stirring only once every hour.  when it smells good, the veggies are tender, add
the frozen peas and onions and serve hot and steaming.

If you want homemade bread to accompany.....get another bottle of "Beals
Estate".........

Dick Beals
15 comments • Dick & Sandy Beals • December 03 2007 07:19AM